Random Thoughts: Dark Hearts|No.4

image

Things always goes bump in the night. Beauty is not even close to what I am about to explain. It is the light that shines only when a dark heart is overjoyed. Overjoyed by a random occasion they have admitted or done. Such cruelty has it’s ways in becoming evil or inhumane. ‘That my dear readers is a liar. They lie for pleasure, they lie for lust, they lie for leisure and they lie until they rust.’

Unbelievably they are as equal mojority as honest. I ain’t making this thing up. Liars and honest people are equally the same in terms of percentages. That is why Good and Bad always be seen by many. Either you choose to be bad or you choose to be good. It makes quite an extraordinary difference by picking a side you desire to be oblinged for years to come.

‘Don’t get me wrong, I was once an innocent girl. But freedom was not there for me to voice out or act out. But through time I changed. Not for better but for the worse when I turned 17. It was the most bad year of my life.. and I ruined my dignity and sense of  control over my surroundings for a couple of years too. But now, that bad image and attitude of mine slowly subsided. I feel as if I have cleanse my mind and heart just by repenting what I did wrong and hoping in the future things goes well as hoped it would be. Well it did actually. I am being loved by a very kind -hearted and loving man. Of which he is my husband.. Admael Rayne.’

If I could do it, I don’t see why you cannot try to change for the best of you. Search for the confidence and courage within you and you’ll get along the path just fine.

Sincerely,
Ellie Rayne

Ellie’s Story: War and Assassination |Chapter 10

image

No one is to harm her!

To know right after the wedding, problems started to take it’s own way to our lives. Disturbances started to appear and with me being pregnant was not making my husband relax and calm down. One evening we discussed. It had been three days after we made our vows. I knew then… our honeymoon is to wait. The whole family was at stake.

‘We have a spy in the family. My ex-family member is hiring someone to be in our family and spy onto us. Taking tabs and info about us. I want you to get rid of a few of this listed names and turn your location tracker off.’  The way he explained it was actually very directive. I knew then it must be very important for me to stay obedient and listen to his instructions given. I did of what I was told. Rubbing my buldging belly feeling insecured and afraid of war. ‘A war might happen love. Please be careful. I don’t want to loose you. I just got you in my life Ellie. And I am not going to let anyone harm you. That’s a promise I am willing to keep.’  His promise made me smile gently. ‘I trust you hubby. Just be careful.’ Just praying hopefully no war is made.

Even when a war might happen I tried to stay calm. And at times we spend time with Kira. ‘Kira sweety, do you want to be reborn as mine and Ellie’s first born?’ The very offer made her giggled and she agreed to be reborn as baby Kira. We felt happy about her agreeing to us.

A few days later, to know that Alana our favourite friend in the family was a spy. And had tabs about us now. ‘How could you Alana…’ we both are sad and dissapointed. We kicked her out of  the house like  that.

A week had passed, but the family was a day late to schedule as many..my husband still holds me in his arms when he needs comfort from me. And when we thought all are good, our Eldest adopted son are creating troubles by doing multi-RPs and just took the opportunity in leaving the family to join another. With me feeling saddened things are not going so well. ‘It’s fine hubby we still have Murdigan and Kira will be born soon.’ I spoke too soon. Yes, Murdigan was there but he tried to snuggle to me sexually. I told my husband about it and there he goes.. his ass was being kicked out of the family.

‘Can’t I have a peaceful evening and not have dramas and such?’ As my husband looked at me, he would say, ‘I just want it to stop. I just want to spend some time with my newly wedded wife. Of which due to this bullshit things being going around,  we both needed to postpone our honeymoon. It has been fucking almost 2 weeks already now.’ I interupted him by saying, ‘Mmm… hun.. it’s only have been 9 days.’  He pointed a finger at me and a hand out to halt me. ‘Ellie. I am already pissed. Just let it be. Which ever it is.. I wish to have our honeymoon okay? ‘   I just nodded obediently to his words.

I walked away in silence to go cook dinner as he proceeded to talk to his RP mum and a friend of his about the matter at hand wether they could lend a hand to help us solve the current issue the family is having.

Sincerely,
Ellie Rayne

Random Thoughts: Dark Hearts|No.3

image

Never wished too much on something. Because it might just be your last wish you ever wish it to be granted. Wishing is another term for praying to make it come true or in other words granted. If you don’t see it like I did before well now you do.

I kept twisting and turning in bed late nights just thinking if my wish to die was actually came true awhile back. ‘Please I do not wish to live anymore. Please bring me to the grave.’  A wish I wanted three years back actually came true when I was diagnosed with heart disease. Thinking I was to die, but a miracle came forth for me and I lived due to a surgery. I never seen it to be so dark and sadistic before I wished it. But almost dead on my death bed.. it was actually very unlikely it shall not become of me. ‘Death becomes her…’ as said by myself a few years back.

Thoughts of ours will never die from anything inparticular that may turn out into another scenario in life. Think about it. When on earth does a scene never showed up and went wrongly? Well seldom I suppose.

Sincerely,
Ellie Rayne

Random Thoughts: Dark Hearts |No.2

image

If only you knew the world is polluted with people that has a double-face identity. One you are known to be fearful of. One you are known to be thinking it gives much more damage in your lives rather than good omen. ‘If you wish to follow your Papa after I am divorcing him due to marrying another behind my back go ahead. Get out of my house.’  I was like dumbstruck here.

Just because I don’t want to be involve in this adult /parents  matter at hand does not mean I don’t care. If I do care and support, I still need not to pick a side. I am to stay nuetral and just respect both parents as it is. But my Mama looks at me as if I am just a person with no heart. At the same time she wishes me to help her to tend to her daily life chores and tasks. By then, she will ask nicely. I hate double-face people.

Just hate their guts and attitude. ‘I didn’t say anything. I only said it is best for me not to minggle in adult matters at hand..’  Before I could even finish my sentence my sister jumped in and said ‘You never even thought of the family anyways. You only think about yourself.’ Really?? She is going that route with me? If I am not in the right sane of mind.. I just might strangle her to death. She has the most bitchy mouth of the century! Well go figure! ‘Like mother Like Daughter.’  I whispered softly and walked away. Seriously I am living in hell. Heaven is never going to be near me. Just never!

Sincerely,
Ellie Rayne

Random Thoughts: Epilog: Dark Hearts

image

Every heart buries a dark soul within. Nobody is too nice but nor of them to cruel and lack of humanity. ‘See as you want to see.. Be as who You wish to be..Nobody will ever stop you from being who you want to be.. NOBODY.’  Reassure things are not always bright.. It may go gloomy and dark. Eerie and wonderfully scary.

It’s the heart! The heart is the central nervous core of everything in it’s path of being a human or a devil’s own. To think, to cope, to say and to make emotions come to life.‘Do not go out anymore tonight.’ I was looking at my sister as she said it to me. I am here thinking about the cats at home. Considering they might be hungry by now. ‘How about the cats. They’re starve the whole night?!’  With me asking that, she said to me, ‘So why did you even follow us today..’  her words were harsh and rude. I was like oh no she did not just said that to me!   ‘So you’re faulting me for following you today and help you??’ Now this is bullshit!

Now here is two different categories of arseholes in this world. One is the ones that steals,rapes,murders the society. Second is the ones that bullies, push you around, being rude and abnoxious, not realizing they are self-centred, bitchy. Do tell me have you ever met such people in your lives before?

Sincerely,
Ellie Rayne

Movies/Shows Review : The Fault In Our Stars (2014)

 

The Fault In Our Stars

~Review~

This screen adaptation of John Green’s 2012 young-adult bestsellerabout star-crossed teens who meet at a cancer support group opens with an apologetic declaration that what follows will not be sugar-coated fiction but harsh reality. In fact, it’s a mixture of the two; an effective (and affecting) weepie that marries the unashamed sentimentality of Love Story with the rougher edges of Now Is Good, while largely eschewing the insufferable archness of Gus Van Sant’s appalling Restless. As the narrative follows its sparky subjects from America to Amsterdam in search of answers to life, the universe and everything, we get to enjoy their amiable company and become seduced by their no-bullshit attitude, their conversation sparking plenty of laughs and oceans of tears as love blooms and nature takes its inexorable course.

“This story is Titanic,” declares, alarmingly, director Josh Boone, in the press bumf, “and cancer is the iceberg we’re going to hit eventually” – a toe-curling description that rings truest when Gus and Hazel Grace wind up being applauded by smiling onlookers while sharing a kiss in the Anne Frank attic. Really. Luckily, (500) Days of Summer screenwriters Scott Neustadter and Michael H Weber are on hand to lend an alt-indie edge that cuts through the mawkish manipulation, with Divergent graduates Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort making a likable fist of the leads. Meanwhile Laura Dern worries away behind a David St Hubbins haircut as Hazel Grace’s anguished mother, and Willem Dafoe chews the drunken scenery as the flawed author of An Imperial Affliction with whom our young leads fall both in and out of love.

Sincerely,

Ellie Rayne

 

Random Thoughts: Love me Love me Not

image

Hmph..you are something!

Things don’t always go as planned. Do tell me which part of having a relationship is worth not arguing for? Each couple do fight, argue and bitched out to one another. But that does not mean they would stop loving each other twice as much as they do even before that fight, argument or the very bitching out situation happening.

‘Please just shut up!’  With the female telling her mate to shut up.. it will agitated him even more worse. ‘No! You shut up! Go away from me!’  Says the male as his mate would try not to tear up. ‘Fine I will! ‘ leaving the scene she would probably head to the bedroom or to the bathroom, or even to the gardens or balcony to breathe and calm down. By slowly tearing up and felt hurt.

But with both alone. Senses will be circulating them both and they will tend to miss the happy moments they had shared. And do not wish of what they are having to end. That’s when the apologizing scene forms up. From both sides in an hour or so roughly.

Sincerely,
Ellie Rayne